Uncertainty with Care

Author: Nelly Kaufer

I just went to a new doctor yesterday. I’m certain she’ll be a good doc for me. Though I am also aware of this habit of mine to, at first, often only see the good in people. And to feel certain about this. This might seem like a positive tendency but it’s more complex than that. Another, perhaps wiser part of me knows that she will disappoint me sometime, some way. So why then do I feel so certain she will be good for me?

I had forms to fill out. You know how it is when you go to a doctor. Seems like you need to answer the same questions over and over again. They always ask about your allergies even though they’re already listed in MyChart which they had me review before my appointment. Maybe I should add a new allergy. I am allergic to “certainty”.

Wait a minute. You just said that you were certain she is a good doctor. Though you quickly qualified this certainty. It’s not that she isn’t a good doctor. At times she will be a good and other times a not-so-good doctor. I am certain though that it was a good first appointment.

Yes, there is some wisdom in first impressions. Yes, I did pick up something accurate in my first appointment. And I am discerning about doctors and much else in my life. I felt quite differently about my previous primary care doctor. Our first appointment didn’t feel right or good.

I am certain that I need a caring, attentive, knowledgeable, flexible doctor. Especially as I age. Especially as I navigate a fraught medical system.

8.27: https://youtu.be/zogGnf-Td60
8.28: https://youtu.be/sQuDNShDibA
8.30: https://youtu.be/R5TgHmURtnY