“Be-ing with” the uncertainty of our times

 

There are so many things to be upset, distraught, scared, angry about these days. What do we do with that? 

A slow syrupy mood comes over me this morning. I’m not sure where it came from but it’s distinct from the “out of control” mood that has been hovering. I wish I could control my mood more. I wish I could control what other people are saying and how they’re saying it. What can I actually control? My food, take a little time off eating? Some call that intermittent fasting, some call that a diet, some an eating disorder. I know that I don’t want to feel so helpless and outraged, so scared. 

How much control do we have in our lives? Reflective Meditation is a receptive practice where we learn to allow things to go on. Be with whatever comes up. Loosen up the delusion that we have control? Learning to be with, be in, embody our experience is an anchor for being more aware of what we can control. Definition of control: the power to influence or direct our own or other people’s behavior or the course of events. To be in charge.

We taught an in person retreat recently. We used to teach lots of in person retreats, then the pandemic hit. This was the first in-person retreat that we taught in four years. We found a wonderful retreat center which was created for Tibetan Buddhist 3 year retreats- their retreats are a long game. Reflective Meditation is also a long game, but not with long retreats. This retreat center in Goldendale Washington, Ser Chö Ösel Ling – usually shortened to SCOL, had everything we needed including a wonderful immersion in a place that had been devoted with spiritual practice, care for the land and care for the animals that live amongst the retreatants. 

During the retreat, the Tibetan Buddhist retreat manager called me aside and said “I need to talk to you after the retreat, you have something we need”. That comment was so scintillating that I couldn’t leave it at that. “Can you say a bit more” She replied “Do you teach movement, because there’s a way you move.” “No we don’t teach movement, though for one of the first times we had a period of walking/movement meditation with the instruction we simply ‘Be aware of your internal experience and what you are perceiving in the external and how they interplay’”.  

After the retreat we spoke at length. She summed up what she perceived “You are ‘be-ers’, we are ‘do-ers’. We do our chores to get back to doing our practice.  Seemed like your group was just be-ing with the chores“. She was onto something. She correctly and experientially perceived the direction and the developments from our practice. We learn how to be with what is and respond as effectively as we can. It’s a long game. 

By the way, this is also the name of the movie by Paco Farias (parallel: a friend who has been writing screenplays for 30 years and this is his first one made into a movie!) about a group of young Latino men playing golf in Texas in the 1950’s. Their reactions to being told they weren’t good enough to play the country club course because of their heritage. There were many ways to handle it, different responses at different times: raging with a golf club, tucking in your shirt to look more civilized, saying thank you sir, ignoring the insults, climbing the water tower with your love to see the stars, playing with your little sis. All of it counts. 

So how do we translate “being with” the challenging things going on politically, climatically, economically, racially……. There are many ways to “be with” these polycrises.

No simple answer here but it helps to know it’s a long game. To remind myself of this over and over again. It helps to talk about it, but not talk about it too much. It helps to read about it, but not read too much. It helps to discern what I can do, while realizing that what I do has only a tiny, tiny impact, maybe not even that. It helps to do things that seem to antidote the angst, for us it is creative expression, like writing this article. For us it is being reflective. It helps to remember there is so much more going on in the world.

Actually, we don’t know what to do. So much is uncertain and out of our control. This basic Buddhist teaching is right in our face right now.

 

Linda Modaro and Nelly Kaufer

Written in the style of Reflective Meditation: Cultivating Kindness and Curiosity in the Buddha’s Company